- 'The customer is always right'
First up, whoever came up with this philosophy clearly never worked in customer service. The majority of the time, customers who believe they are in the right are most definitely in the wrong. Sure, it's not all bad; you do get some normal, friendly customers. Unfortunately they are a rarity and comprise of approximately 5% of all customers.
- Working holidays and being unable to participate in TGIF delight
The hours does really depend on where you work. Working in a store within a large mall, you will be expected to work up to 10pm at some places. I don't know if the rumours are true...but at MeadowHELL in Sheffield, during Christmas holidays, the stores stay open until midnight. WHAT?! I thought 8pm was bad! TGIFs are simply non-existent in retail too as you will be expected to work weekends, while your office working friends spend quality time together by coming to visit you and mock you while you slog away. Christmas holidays? Easter holidays? HAHAHA! What are they again? A store that's open 364 days a year, closing only on Christmas Day itself? Yup! That's right!
Yo, why don't you just hire weekend workers, evening workers and then day time workers? Why must you insist on flexible hours for everyone!? Granted, some stores will have contracted hours in which you work the same hours on the same day every week. Nowadays however it's become increasingly common for managers to want you to be beyond flexible to the point you're basically a contortionist. Sure it means you get time off in the week to run your errands. However, it's a bloody bind having to wait for weekly or monthly rotas to be done to then try and fit plans around. You're never guaranteed a specific day off so making plans with family and friends becomes incredibly difficult and tedious.
- Old people are kind of a big deal
Occasionally you will end up getting the creepy old guy who wants you to measure his collar size or makes jokes about how he needs his inseam measuring. Pipe down Frank, don't make us call security again. However, the longer you work there, it becomes increasingly apparent that a lot of the elderly people who visit your store are simply wanting a bit of company. You could be the only person they speak to all week so it's important to make an effort with them, listen to their stories and engage in a conversation with them.
- You start to get competitive with your co-workers
That god awful dress in the sale section that's been there for months? Who can manage to sell it?!
When things start to get boring you have to get creative and race to be the first one to reach a sale above £200, sell the most hideous item in the store or something equally as riveting. When you win you feel two things, pride and shame.
- You won't actually get a long with all your co-workers
It's very rare to get along with every single person you work with but more often than not you get on pretty well with the majority of them. However, there's that one person who simply breathes and it pisses you off. You have to restrain yourself from punching them in their stupid face. Who do they think they are getting a higher sale than you or you know, standing there minding their own business. Dumb-ass.
You have to try and make small talk with them by asking them if they did anything on their day off whilst fundamentally thinking of ways to kill them.
- You're on National Minimum Wage
Whenever your boss tells you to do something or a customer treats you like a piece of shit on their shoe, you constantly keep reminding yourself how you don't earn enough for this crap. Sure, it's better than no money at all but you worked hard to get a degree and paid for the privilege, only to wind up working for next to nothing. You earn so little that you don't even pay tax. You'll never earn enough to pay back your student loan and you become jealous and hateful towards your friends who earn well over £20 000 a year. You basically do bitch work and forever question if you really are better than crappy retail work. Why does no-one else want to hire me?!
- A part of you dies when an attractive customer leaves
Why haven't they asked for my number yet? I bet they prefer that co-worker I hate. Are they just going to leave the store and pretend we didn't have a connection? Maybe they sussed that I was mentally marrying them in my head. Maybe I was too subtle with my flirting. Oh I'm sorry sir, I didn't realise you would be semi-naked here in the changing rooms, how silly of me to walk in unannounced...
The Flawed Blonde. xoxo
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